


it’s so sweet (knowing that you love me)

by James_Spencer



Category: Killing Eve
Genre: F/F, Post 3x07, Praise Kink, soft, soft!villanelle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:46:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24623416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/James_Spencer/pseuds/James_Spencer
Summary: All of the running, all of the chasing, it leads up to this, Eve thinks as the elevator slowly makes its way up to the second to last floor. She knows what’s going to happen tonight. This is their surrender. This is the culmination of so much hatred and grief and death and destruction in both their lives, and Eve feels surprisingly calm about it all.OrVillanelle has feelings and Eve just wants to make Villanelle feel good.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 8
Kudos: 240





	it’s so sweet (knowing that you love me)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I’ve owed you all this fic for a couple of weeks and I extend my sincerest apologies for the tardiness. Work caught up with me, then life got in the way, and it just took a bit of extra time to churn this one out.
> 
> Huge thank you to Dina for beta-ing this and being just the amazing person she always is. If you’re into vampires, stepsisters, or MMA, I high key suggest you head over to her page and check out her works. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
> 
> This one is dedicated to the bottoms.

_“We have to stop running into each other like that. It’s not good for both of us.”_ Eve looks around, frantically trying to find a hideous grinch-like outfit amongst the crowd. _“You can stop looking around, I’m not there. Take the next train to Epping. I will call you when you get there.”_

Eve’s mouth is so dry, she’s afraid to try and speak. A more insistent _”okay?”_ is heard and she nods to herself before answering with a hoarse “okay.”

 _”I will see you soon. Don’t do anything stupid, I would like to actually have you to myself and in one piece for a little while at least.”_ Eve smiles at Villanelle’s words and it’s like a breath of fresh air to not try and fight anymore. 

“I promise I won’t do anything stupid. And I’ll see you soon Vil,” Eve replies before hanging up the phone and making her way to the nearest schedule board.  
-  
-  
-  
It feels like it takes all of five minutes before Eve steps onto the platform in Epping. Her phone vibrates in her pocket and she quickly puts it up to her ear. “I’m here,” she says, trying to hide the evident excitement in her voice. 

“I know,” Villanelle says softly. Eve feels a hand softly grasp her shoulder and she can’t help but smile as she turns around to see Villanelle smiling softly, still wearing the same garish green outfit she wore in London. “You came.”

Eve nods. “Did you think I wouldn’t?” She sees the sad look in Villanelle’s eyes as she asks and she feels a slight tug in her chest. 

“It’s not like it’s the first time you didn’t come to see me.” Eve scrunches her eyebrows in confusion. “Amsterdam? I sent you a postcard hoping you’d come, but you never did.”

“I never got a...” Eve trails off as she feels the anger rise inside of her. It all makes sense now, why Carolyn wouldn’t send her to Amsterdam. “Vil, I swear I never got the postcard, you have to believe me I-“ She’s cut off by Villanelle’s finger on her lip. 

“I believe you, I do, but we need to not get angry right now. We need to blend in while we are in public.”

Eve can’t help but chuckle as she looks Villanelle up and down. “And you think you blend in wearing that?”

Villanelle gives her a confused look. “What’s wrong with it? It is perfect golfing attire. Now come on, we have to check in soon.”

“Whatever you say,” Eve says with a smile as she follows Villanelle. “Where are we checking in?”  
-  
-  
-  
-  
How Villanelle manages to find a room at the nicest hotel in Epping, Eve will never know. How she manages to convince Eve to stay in said hotel with her without so much as a word spoken, she also doesn’t know. The car ride there stayed silent, both women attempting to decompress after the long day, week, month, hell even year they’ve had. All of the running, all of the chasing, it leads up to this, Eve thinks as the elevator slowly makes its way up to the second to last floor. She knows what’s going to happen tonight. This is their surrender. This is the culmination of so much hatred and grief and death and destruction in both their lives, and Eve feels surprisingly calm about it all. Eve feels a slight tug on her hand. She shakes herself out of her daze and follows Villanelle off the elevator. She doesn’t let go of her hand until they get to a door near the end of the hallway. 

Villanelle opens the door and beckons Eve in first. “Is this where you murder me?” Eve says lightly, attempting to loosen the tension in the room.

“Eve, I told you before I do not want to kill you, why won’t you believe me?” Villanelle replies, sounding hurt as she shuts the door behind her. 

Eve steps towards Villanelle, taking one of her hands in her own. “It was a joke, I promise, Vil.”

Villanelle smiles softly before letting go of their hands and making her way into the room, shedding the awful green coat and throwing it haphazardly over the loveseat. Eve feels something stir deep down in her stomach as she takes in Villanelle’s simple white tank top that was hiding underneath that hideous coat. She pushes those feelings far back in her brain for now, wanting to at least have some form of a conversation before the inevitable happens. “Drink?” she says walking towards the minibar. She starts to name off and show Eve all the different bottles and Eve notices a change in her tone, a higher pitch, and she’s speaking faster than usual, and-

“Oh my god,” Eve exclaims. Villanelle looks up at her, concern evident in her eyes. “Oh my...wow...you’re nervous, aren’t you?”

That’s the wrong thing to say, Eve thinks as the words escape her tongue and Villanelle’s eyes widen. “I do not get nervous, Eve,” she growls and at the exact same time, two of the alcohol bottles fly out of her hands.

Eve cackles. “You sure about that?” She walks over and picks up the bottles, sitting them on the counter, before turning towards Villanelle. “So are you gonna tell me?” Eve asks, unsure of where this newfound confidence is coming from. “Why are you nervous, Villanelle?” Villanelle looks down and without thinking, Eve reaches out, grasping Villanelle’s chin between her thumb and finger and forces the younger woman to meet her eyes. She feels a familiar tug in her chest when she sees the tears threatening to fall from Villanelle’s eyes. “Please tell me,” she begs softly.

Villanelle blinks and a single tear falls. She’s losing her composure and Eve can tell, so she takes her free hand and grabs Villanelle’s, intertwining their fingers. “Do you know why I was on the train in the first place?” 

Eve shakes her head. 

“I was getting out. Konstantin and I were coming to get his money and we were leaving. I don’t...I can’t do this anymore, Eve. I’m tired, I am so tired and I just want to be something other than ‘a perfect killing machine.’”

The pain is evident in Villanelle’s voice and it takes everything in Eve to not pull her forward and embrace the younger woman. She gives Villanelle’s hand a small squeeze, silently urging her to continue. “When Konstantin...after he collapsed I just ran. I knew if I had stayed I would never be able to get out, so I was going to go on my own. I was going to leave everything behind, even you. I had accepted it, and then you showed up.” Villanelle chuckles softly. “After everything we had been through, you showing up did not even cross my mind. But there you were and then I spent the entire train ride to London thinking about you again and I tried so hard to tell myself that I would be okay, that I could do this, but you were there in my head as always and I realized something.” Villanelle pauses. She takes a deep breath, steadying herself, as if she’s about to make some big revelation. “I can’t, no, I don’t want to do this without you, Eve.”

Eve’s eyes widen but Villanelle gives her no time to speak. “Before you ever came into my life I was fine. I loved my job, I loved all my things, or I think I did. I’m not sure really, because nothing I did or bought made me ever feel the way you do and I am so confused right now, Eve. So to answer your question, I am nervous because of you, Eve, because of how I feel and how I have felt since you came into my life.” She blinks rapidly and Eve can see tears start to slowly streak down the younger woman’s face. 

Villanelle lets go of Eve’s hands to wipe the tears off her face. “Are you okay?” Eve asks, concern apparent in her voice. She looks at the woman before her and it’s as if it’s a completely different person than the person she met in that bathroom over a year ago. 

Villanelle nods. “It’s been a rough week. I am fine though, what about you?”

The subject change concerns Eve. It isn’t like Villanelle to not want to talk about herself, but Eve doesn’t want to push it right now. “I’m…” How is she feeling, really? She’s in the room with the woman who killed one of her best friends, who ruined her marriage, and yet…“I’m fine now.”

“Fine enough to be alone in a hotel room with a psychopath?”

“Don’t call yourself that,” Eve snaps before Villanelle can even finish the last word. “That- I don’t like that, I mean, you’re not-”

“On paper I am, Eve. Everyone tells me I am, even you told me I am.” Villanelle’s face starts to flush and Eve can see her eyes brimming with tears. The next words come out as a broken whisper and Eve’s whole body, heart, and soul aches for the younger woman. “I am a monster, Eve. I always have been.”

“I was wrong,” Eve admits and suddenly it’s like a dam bursts inside Villanelle. Eve watches as tears instantly stream down her face, both mesmerized and heartbroken. Eve pulls Villanelle towards her and wraps her arms around the taller woman’s waist. She feels Villanelle tense up for a mere moment before she melts into Eve’s touch. Her arms wrap around Eve’s shoulders and she nuzzles her face into the curly black hair and sobs. Eve rubs soothing circles on Villanelle’s lower back, whispering in her ear to try and calm her down. “I was wrong this whole time, about you not being a psychopath, about my own feelings. I was really wrong and I tried so hard not to be.”

This seems to get Villanelle’s attention enough that the full body sobs dissipate into tiny whimpers and Villanelle lifts her head off of Eve’s shoulder but she feels her hold tighten around her shoulders. “So,” her voice cracks. “Tell me about these feelings?”

“Of course that would get your attention,” Eve says rolling her eyes. “I showed up at the train station, didn’t I? I never stopped looking for you. You’re smart enough to guess what that means without me spelling it out for you.”

“Maybe I want you to spell it out for me though. I was shit at spelling in school.”

“No you weren’t,” Eve rebukes with a smile. She takes one of her hands from Villanelle’s lower back and moves a stray hair out of her face. She glances towards the bed then back to Villanelle. “Do you wanna sit down?”

A sly smirk appears on Villanelle’s face and Eve rolls her eyes. “Are you trying to seduce me?” Villanelle asks and Eve feels heat rise up from her chest to her neck to her face in no time. Villanelle notices and chuckles. “All it took for you to say yes is all of this shit?”

Eve leans in close and let’s her lip lightly brush against Villanelle’s ear. “I haven’t said yes yet,” she whispers and she can feel Villanelle shiver in her arms. 

Villanelle tilts her head back. Eve can’t help but think about how much she’s changed. She’s softer, more human. “Villanelle,” she says as she places her hand on the younger woman’s jaw. “You are not a monster. You are not a psychopath.”

“Then what am I, Eve?”

“You’re…you’re you, Villanelle, and despite the fucked up-ness of this situation, I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else.”

Eve watches as Villanelle’s eyes open and close slowly. She watches as her head slowly moves forward and her stomach drops as she realizes what’s about to happen. Villanelle inches closer and closer and Eve braces herself for the impending kiss, feeling her heartbeat speed up when Villanelle stops. She’s so close that Eve can feel little puffs of air hit her lips and Eve wants to ask what’s going on, why did she stop, but she can’t bring herself to break this spell.

“Eve,” Villanelle whispers softly as she leans her forehead against the older woman’s. “Tell me this is okay, please?” Eve just nods, unable to form a single thought, let alone a single word. “I need to hear you say it.”

Eve inhales. Exhales. It comes out more of a shudder than anything. She tightens her grip on Villanelle’s waist, trying to find some way to ground herself, to slow her heart rate down. “Kiss me,” she manages to get out and Villanelle’s lips are on hers for the second time. Eve’s head swirls as her lips move with Villanelle’s in a kiss that is the exact opposite of their last. What was a quick, anger filled, heat of the moment experience is now a soft, almost cautious one, as if Villanelle is afraid to push Eve too far. Villanelle’s hands stay planted firmly at her side as she continues to cover Eve’s lips in soft, insistent kisses, and though Eve loves it, loves the way Villanelle’s lips feel against her own, she needs more. She needs-

She steps back. Grabs the counter next to her, afraid she’s going to float away if she doesn’t hold onto something. Her head swirls. Her heart pounds. She looks over at the bed then back to Villanelle. The younger woman’s chest rises and falls rapidly. Her pupils are blown wide, her mouth barely open and she’s looking at Eve like she’s the only good thing in this fucked up world. 

Eve peels off her jacket, letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor. Her shirt comes off next, followed by her bra, which is flung across the room. She feels Villanelle’s heated gaze, but she doesn’t meet her eyes, afraid that she’ll lose the little bit of confidence she has if she does. She moves her hands to the button of her jeans, and they come apart with a soft pop. “Take your clothes off too,” she says as she slowly pushes the offending article of clothing, along with her underwear, down her legs, kicking them off in the most un-graceful fashion. 

Villanelle undresses quickly. Eve allows herself to admire the woman before her. She starts from the bottom, spends a little more time than necessary letting her eyes roam over Villanelle’s long, toned legs, and Eve wonders what it would feel like to have those legs wrapped around her. The navy blue lace underwear Villanelle still has on leaves little to the imagination and Eve grips the counter again to stop herself from taking two steps forward and ripping them off herself. 

“Eve,” Villanelle says softly, taking a step towards her. “Eve, what do you want me to do now?”

It takes Eve longer than she’d like to admit to realize what’s going on. Later she’ll blame it on Villanelle’s distractingly long, luxurious legs. “I want you on the bed,” Eve says sternly. Villanelle nods, turns, and walks over to the bed. 

“How do you want me?” She asks and oh, Eve feels liquid heat settle between her legs as she hears Villanelle’s voice drop a couple octaves. “Like this?” Eve can’t look up, she knows she’ll lose it the minute she does. “Eve? Is this okay for you?”

Fuck. Eve looks up and-

“Fuck.” Eve whispers as she takes in the sight before her: Villanelle sprawled out on her back in the middle of the bed. Her arms rest beneath her head and her legs are spread wide with one of her legs bent at the knee. Her eyes are blown black, filled with want and need, but there’s a softness beneath them that Eve still isn’t used to. 

“Is this okay, Eve?” Villanelle asks again, breaking Eve out of her trance. “I want to be perfect for you. I need to...I- please tell me what you want,” and fuck if Villanelle practically begging Eve to boss her around doesn’t send another surge of heat and wetness to Eve’s core. 

Eve makes her way to the side of the bed. Gently, she climbs on, kneeling beside Villanelle. She brushes a wild strand of hair out of the younger woman’s face and leans down, kissing her softly. “You’re perfect, Villanelle, you’re doing so good baby.”

Villanelle whimpers. Eve feels her thighs almost give out. She leans over, brackets Villanelle’s head with her hands and swings one leg over her hips and settles on top of the younger woman before leaning over and kissing her softly. Villanelle gasps into the kiss as Eve starts to rock down into her and Eve uses it to her advantage, sliding her tongue into Villanelle’s wanting, hot mouth. 

Eve grinds down again, harder this time as she tries to relieve the pressure between her own legs. She knows Villanelle can feel her arousal, slick and warm on Villanelle’s toned abdomen. Villanelle’s hands make their way to Eve’s lower back, then lower, and Eve groans into Villanelle’s mouth as she digs her nails into her ass.

As much as Eve wants to please Villanelle, her orgasm is fast approaching, and it’s well past time to attempt to back away. Eve moans again and Villanelle takes the chance to press her lips lower, biting and nipping at Eve’s neck. One hand leaves her ass in favor of her hair and Eve hisses at the mix of pain and pleasure as Villanelle tangles her hand in the messy locks and yanks roughly as she bites down on a particularly sensitive spot on Eve’s neck. 

“God, Eve,” Villanelle half-whimpers, half-moans as Eve’s movements get more frenzied. “Does that feel good baby? Do you like using me?” Eve responds with a high pitched moan. “Come on baby, use me to get yourself off Eve, please?” 

“Oksana!” Eve feels her stomach coil, feels the heat bubble up from her center throughout her entire body. She rocks frantically against Villanelle and throws her head back as her orgasm overtakes her. “Fuck, oh fuck baby, you’re so fucking good for me” Eve cries. Villanelle rolls her hips slowly, helping Eve ride out her orgasm. As her movements come to a stop, Villanelle wraps her arms around Eve and pulls her into a kiss. 

“You called me Oksana,” she says softly. 

Eve moves to lay next to Villanelle. “Vil I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“

Villanelle cuts her off. “I didn’t mind.”

Eve smiles and leans over to kiss her. “Do you want me to call you Oksana?” She’s given the slightest of nods. “Okay good. Turn around, on your hands and knees, Oksana.”

Let it be known that Oksana can take direction when it benefits her. Eve can barely sit up before Oksana is turned around, bent over with her back arched and her ass standing proudly in the air. Eve feels a fresh wave of arousal hit her as she positions herself on her knees behind the obedient woman. 

“Such a good girl for me,” Eve says, tracing her fingertips from Oksana’s ass, up her back, to her neck, and back down. Oksana whimpers at the praise, and Eve files that nickname in her mind for further use. She palms the younger woman’s ass before raising her hand and striking the sensitive flesh. Oksana yelps in surprise. Her hips jerk forward and Eve can see the clear evidence of Oksana’s arousal coating her inner thighs. Eve moves her hands down, massages her thighs, lets her fingers creep ever so slightly towards Oksana’s center. “Spread your legs for me baby.”

Oksana does so with a groan, pressing her face further into the pillow. “Please Eve,” she begs. “Let me feel good, please.”

Eve’s resistance snaps. How the fuck can she say no when Oksana is like this? When she’s so hot and needy and begging for Eve’s touch? Eve grabs onto Oksana’s ass with one hand while she runs a finger through her wet heat. Both women moan at the first touch. Eve moves her free hand up Oksana’s back, to her neck, and into her hair, pulling lightly as she continues her movements between her legs, tracing up and down through her folds, carefully avoiding her clit. 

Oksana gasps into the pillow with every teasing stroke of Eve’s fingers. She rocks her hips back in an attempt to gain more friction. “Eve please, I need you,” she whines. “Oh god I need- oh fuck!” Eve presses down on Oksana’s clit, circles around it, presses down again, eliciting another deep moan from the younger woman. Oksana is rocking herself heavily against Eve’s hand and fuck, Eve can tell she’s already close and she hasn’t even been inside of her or tasted her yet, and that just won’t do. 

“No, no, no Eve please don’t stop, I promise I’ll be good for you, please just fuck me,” Oksana cries, jerking her hips forward. Eve moves quickly, laying flat on her back and pushing herself up underneath Oksana. She grips Oksana’s hips and pulls her down. She moans at the first taste of Oksana and greedily starts lapping up the wetness between her folds. Eve maneuvers one hand underneath Oksana and teasingly presses a finger inside. The abundant wetness gives little resistance so Eve quickly adds another. She can hear Oksana’s moans grow louder, as she pumps her fingers in and out while her tongue circles Oksana’s sensitive clit. 

“Please, please, please,” she barely hears Oksana chant, her ears muffled by a pair of thighs at the moment. She speeds up her movements. Oksana deserves this. Oksana needs this, and who is Eve to deny the woman she loves (she’ll come back to that thought later) what she so desperately needs. She feels Oksana tighten on her fingers, feels Oksana’s hands come down to tangle into her hair as she approaches the edge of her orgasm. One particularly hard thrust, a curl of her fingers, and her tongue pressed down hard on Oksana’s clit, and Eve feels the woman above her tense up.

“Eve!” Oksana cries out, and Eve hears her perfectly this time. She slows down her fingers, letting Oksana ride out her orgasm. As her movements come to a stop, Eve pulls her fingers gently out of Oksana and grabs her hips. She maneuvers them into a more comfortable position, with Oksana resting her head on Eve’s naked chest.

Eve’s first thought is to laugh, because of course Oksana would want to be the little spoon. Oksana notices her small huff of laughter and looks up at her, raising her eyebrow in confusion.

“Of course you’d be the little spoon,” Eve says softly, running her fingers through Oksana’s tousled hair. Oksana tries to switch places, but Eve holds her down with one arm. “I like it.”

“Mmm, that is not the only thing you like,” Oksana replies. “You liked that, didn’t you? You liked being in charge.” 

It’s said as a statement rather than a question because both women know it’s true. But still, Eve clearly wasn’t the only one enjoying it. “And you liked letting me be in charge, didn’t you?”

Oksana nods, apparently too tired to come up with a witty remark. “I just needed to let go I think,” Oksana says softly, her voice cracking probably due to the intense moaning and screaming that was happening only minutes ago. “I am tired Eve. I am tired of running and fighting and killing and I just want it all to stop.” Eve feels her tense up so she does the only thing she can think of and pulls her in closer, holds her as tight as she can without hurting her. “I have never done that in my life. I would never give someone that power over me, but you…” she trails off, sniffles, ducks her head into Eve’s neck to try and hide the obvious tears. “I don’t even think twice with you, Eve, and it’s fucked up of me to do that because you are the one who has proven that she can and will hurt me.”

Eve feels her heart rip in two and she’s right there with Oksana now, tears starting to roll down her cheeks. “I know,” Eve replies, because what else can she say? Oksana’s right. 

Oksana sniffs again and looks up, lets her glassy eyes meet Eve’s. She leans over and pecks Eve’s lips and okay, Eve’s a little confused. “But even though that is true, it does not change how I feel about you, or how you feel about me.”

Eve raises her eyebrow. “And how do I feel about you?”

“You aren’t curious to know about my feelings?” Oksana responds playfully and okay, Eve likes this tone of voice better than the one laced with tears. “I think my feelings are the same as yours.”

Eve nods, reaches one hand out to caress Oksana’s jaw and pulls her in for another kiss. “I think they are too,” she admits. 

“So are you going to say it?”

“Do you really want me to?” Eve answers back quickly and Oksana nods. She doesn’t want to use the “L” word. Not with Oksana. Not with a woman who has been burned by that word for her whole life. “I- okay, no, not gonna work.” Oksana looks down at Eve with confusion written all over her face. “When I think of my future, I just see your face over and over again.”

Oksana blinks. Takes a deep breath. A smile slowly starts to form on her face. “It’s a very beautiful face,” she responds. Both women laugh uncontrollably as Eve pulls Oksana back down into their original position. “That was a very gay thing to say, Eve,” Oksana says into Eve’s neck and Eve just smiles, for once content with her life.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on Twitter (spencyjfrenchy) or tumblr (villanellesstrap)


End file.
